


The Blind Date

by princessgongjunim (MyOwnCharacterInEverything)



Series: The Pining Idiots of Angel Café [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Matchmaking, M/M, Meddling, Multi, a lot of this is self-indulgent bullshit don't @ me, also everyone is at least a little bit in love with moon taeil, anime shipping discourse, i just wanted a bunch of 98-liners to be friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 14:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOwnCharacterInEverything/pseuds/princessgongjunim
Summary: Jungwoo sighed, lifting his head to rest his head on his chin. “But clearly. Clearly. Something needs to be done here.”Minho and Vernon exchanged a look. “Um, no offense, Jungwoo—”“Speak for yourself, Vernon, I mean full offense—”“—but why do you care? I mean, it’s not exactly any of your business.”“Because!” Jungwoo snapped. “I can’t take it anymore! They both keep picking on me for some reason! Doyoung is a jerk to me in class, while Jaehyun’s obsessed with me. But then they become so...so...constipated around each other. It’s driving me crazy!”Kevin, who had been quiet all this time, looked at Jungwoo carefully. “...what did you have in mind?”(Or, alternatively, Jungwoo sets up Doyoung and Jaehyun up on a date, hoping to see meltdowns and drama. Imagine his surprise when they start dating instead. Why did that bother him so much?)





	The Blind Date

“Excuse me! Sorry! Coming through!”

Now, you would think that after being a college student for three years, Jungwoo would have figured out how to not be late to class anymore. In his feeble defense, this was an 8am class, and even though there were only two weeks of class left, his body still couldn’t figure out how to get up. Jungwoo felt bad for yelling at all those people to move, but he managed to burst into the classroom with two minutes to spare.

Flopping down into his usual seat, Jungwoo's seatmate Lee Minho didn’t even look up from his book. He simply pushed a granola bar and a yogurt drink to Jungwoo’s side of the table and kept reading.

“Thanks,” Jungwoo said breathlessly, snatching up the granola bar and opening it.

Minho only grunted in reply, but Jungwoo wasn’t offended. That’s just how Minho was at 8am. Or just, in general. Minho had never been good at expressing himself, but Jungwoo had gotten used to his awkward attempts to show he cared.

As Jungwoo began eating the granola bar, he pulled out his phone to answer the text Julie had sent him.

_[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/182829586@N07/48343990916/in/dateposted-public/) _

Jungwoo laughed a little. _God_ , he missed Julie. Sure, he was happy his best friend was having the time of her life studying abroad, but having her thousands of miles away in Spain had worried him, at least at first. Julie had always been the one to ground him whenever his feelings overwhelmed him, and he had always been able to count on Julie to pull him away and reel him back in before he burned himself out.

Weirdly enough, it had been Minho—cold and quiet Minho—that became Jungwoo’s constant support in Julie’s absence. Sure, Minho never offered soft comforting words, but he was there: bringing Jungwoo breakfast on 8am lecture days and silently nudging him to less crowded parts of the metro. And that was enough for Jungwoo.

“Kim Jungwoo!” the TA’s voice snapped. “If you’re done texting your girlfriend, could you please answer the first question on yesterday’s homework?”

Now, if this had been a year and a half ago, Jungwoo would have blushed, felt embarrassed, insisted that Julie wasn’t his girlfriend. But it was 8am, and it was many months later. By now, Jungwoo had learned to accept that the people who didn’t know him—or at least, that he was gay—would always assume that Julie was his girlfriend.

And so, Jungwoo straightened his posture, put his phone away, and folded his hands on the desk in front of him. Without pulling out last night’s homework, he answered the question perfectly, a placid smile on his face. Behind him, Kevin Moon snickered a little.

 _Thank God for photographic memory_. And even without it, Jungwoo would have known the answer anyway. He and Vernon always checked answers with each other. (Lucky Vernon. Being an idol and all, he got to take an online version of this class instead of the hellish 8am.)

The TA—Kim Dongyoung—was clearly not expecting Jungwoo to be prepared for the question, but he managed to smooth out his features into a poker face before moving onto the next question.

Jungwoo allowed himself a little victorious smirk as he moved to pull out his stuff for class. He sure showed _him_. After all, the only thing he hated more than 8am lectures was a pretty face with a shitty attitude.

* * *

Now, maybe that seemed a little out of character for Jungwoo. After all, he was usually so soft and loving. How could he hate his TA this much?

To answer that question, it would require flashing back to last Halloween, to the huge costume party that the Lees threw every year. To a memory that involved cheating, making out on the kitchen counter, and a disgruntled Julie in cat pajamas…

“How did you convince me to do this again?”

“I reminded you that I still have your Cooky plushie held hostage. And I know that you actually do love that thing, despite the way you pretend to hate it.”

“...Jung- _ssi_ , I’m sweating.”

“But do I at least look cute?”

Julie sighed. “Yes, yes you do. Now can you please stop twirling before the door opens?”

“Well, I’m sorry. But I feel so pretty!”

And, as Jungwoo knew she would, Julie began singing:

> _I feel pretty~_
> 
> _Oh so pretty~_
> 
> _I feel pretty~_
> 
> _And witty~_
> 
> _And gaaaaayyyyyyy~!_

The front door to the Lee residence suddenly opened to reveal an amused Johnny, who took one look at Julie’s costume and rolled his eyes.

“Really, Jules? You’re literally wearing a onesie—”

“Hey, the face makeup took forever, I will have you know!”

“But she _does_ make a cute Cheshire Cat, right, Johnny- _hyung_?”

“She does. But _you_ , Jungwoo- _yah_. You’re the _real_ star of this show.”

Jungwoo beamed. His _Alice in Wonderland_ dress was beautifully handmade with the expertise he gained from theatre costuming in high school. He had every goddamn reason to be proud.

“I’m guessing Taeyong- _hyung_ is the Queen of Hearts?” Julie asked, raising an eyebrow at Johnny’s King of Hearts costume.

“He is,” Johnny replied. “Now get in here. I want to introduce you to a few people.”

“A few people” turned out to include people that Jungwoo had already known of, but he either never had a conversation with or he didn't know them very well.

There was Moon Taeil, student director of their university’s choir, and a caring responsible _hyung_. A nice, handsome, and adorable man, Jungwoo liked to note, especially today, dressed as the March Hare.

Jungwoo also may or may not have had a _slight_ obsession with the grad student.

> “Slight, my ass, Jung- _ssi_.”
> 
> “It is, okay, Julie? It’s nothing special! He’s just…a nice man…I like to stare at…and I admire very much…”
> 
> “You were literally worshipping his, and I quote, ‘hella fat ass’ in class this morning.”
> 
> “Guys, can we _not_ talk about my cousin’s ass?”
> 
> “Sorry Kev. But it’s okay—”
> 
> “It is _not_!”
> 
> “—we totally believe you, Woo. Yup.”
> 
> “I’m not obsessed, Vernon, I swear! Right, Minho?”
> 
> A grunt.
> 
> “…why would you ask _him_?”
> 
> “Shut up, Vernon, I’m desperate.”
> 
> “Boy, you’re telling me…”
> 
> “Minho!”

Then there was Jung Jaehyun, who was currently dressed as the Mad Hatter. Apparently, Jaehyun had been childhood friends with Johnny in their American primary school. Jaehyun had lived in America for four years before moving back to Korea before middle school. When Johnny and Jaehyun had found each other years later in a Human Resource Management class, they had easily resumed their friendship. Jungwoo mostly knew who he was because Julie was weirdly terrified of him.

> “He’d come over to study with Johnny, and they’d sometimes play Mariokart!”
> 
> “So? What's wrong with Mariokart?”
> 
> “No, Vern, you don’t _understand_ how competitive this man is!”
> 
> “Come on, Jules, it can’t be _that_ bad—”
> 
> “Kevin, _if he thought it would let him win, he would sell us to Satan for one corn chip!_ ”
> 
> “Can we just go back to studying please?”
> 
> “Shut up, Minho, you’re in love with a squirrel.”
> 
> “ _What does that have to do with anything?!_ ”

And then there was Kim Dongyoung. Or “Doyoung- _ah_ ,” as Ten kept insisting. He didn't look particularly happy to be there, especially not with Dormouse!Ten poking at his White Rabbit ears. Jungwoo knew the two shared a few gen eds, and being the only 96-liners in their classes, they always paired up in solidarity.

> “Doyoung- _ssi_ looks constipated.”
> 
> “Really? I was too busy watching the way he eats his salad.”
> 
> “Excuse me, what now?”
> 
> “Just watch for a second, Julie- _yah_. Please?”
> 
> “…goddammit. Ten- _hyung_ was right. He _does_ look like a rabbit when he eats.”
> 
> “I told you!”
> 
> “I hate you both so much. I can't unsee it now…”

Funnily enough, before all the shit went down that night, Jungwoo hadn't really cared who Doyoung and Jaehyun were. He'd only cared about _Moon Taeil_ being at that party. Handsome, lovely Moon Taeil, who was always genuinely interested in the things that Jungwoo had to say. Not only that, but Jungwoo always knew just what to say in order to get Taeil talking about something he loved. The way his eyes, his face, his whole _being_ lit up whenever he got excited.

_Why was his last name Moon, when he shone like the sun?_

And to think that that whole night started out so _good_. There Jungwoo was, sitting in the kitchen chatting the night away with Moon Taeil, talking about their favorite choir experiences from the past, when Jungwoo sighed and pouted a little.

“Oh? What's wrong, Jungwoo- _yah_?”

Jungwoo tried not to squeal and instead gestured towards his empty cup.

“My drink is empty,” he sighed.

“Oh, let me get that for you!” Taeil said, plucking the empty cup out of Jungwoo’s hand.

“Oh no, it's okay,” Jungwoo started to protest. “I can do it myself—”

“Jungwoo- _yah_.” _Squeeee_ , there it was again. “Let _hyung_ take care of you. I don't mind doing these things for such an adorable _dongsaengie_.”

And with that, Taeil left a speechless Jungwoo. Recovering quickly from his shock, he scrambled to pull out his phone from his apron-skirt pocket.

_[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/182829586@N07/48344132252/in/dateposted-public/) _

Now, Jungwoo wasn't concerned. He knew Julie wouldn't _actually_ kill Taeil, just like she knew that he was only flirting with Taeil for fun. Oh sure, it would be a dream come true to date the one and only Moon Taeil, but Jungwoo knew that Taeil was only comfortable around people that didn't have a crush on him. You see, Moon Taeil, for all of his intelligence, wouldn't know what flirting was if you hit him in the face with the instruction manual. It'd happened all too often, Taeil being blindsided by confessions because he hadn't noticed the signs before. Taeil trusted too much, believed that everyone should just be loving and nice by default, not just something you do for people you like.

So no. If Moon Taeil was ever going to date someone, he would have to be the one to make the first move. And so Jungwoo was fine, just being friends. And if Taeil wanted something else? Then Jungwoo was more than willing to wait.

But of course, as One Direction sang once, reality ruined his life. Which, of course, meant that someone— _two_ someones, actually—interrupted Jungwoo's train of thought by—

—stumbling into the kitchen and making out against the counter. In the process, they knocked over Taeil's drink, spilling it all over Jungwoo's handmade _Alice in Wonderland_ dress.

_Great. Just great._

Where the hell was Taeil? Jungwoo was not drunk enough for this bullshit.

The people making out must have noticed Jungwoo getting up to grab paper towels and trying to save his dress, because suddenly, they tore their faces apart and stared at him, as if they just realized that he was there.

A pause. Two.

“Well, hello, beautiful!” A wild Jung Jaehyun suddenly grinned. Wild and drunk, it would seem. Kim Doyoung, based on his glare, wasn't nearly as happy to be caught in his current situation.

“Hello,” Jungwoo managed politely, suddenly more focused on dabbing at his dress. He usually wasn't very nervous in front of pretty drunk boys, but apparently, Jungwoo really had fallen into Wonderland where everything was how it _shouldn't_ be. It wasn't everyday, after all, that you saw the White Rabbit making out with the Mad Hatter.

But Jungwoo was quite sure that he'd seen Doyoung come to the party with some guy, and that Jaehyun had at least a _few_ pictures with some girl on Instagram. So why…?

_Were they both cheating?_

“Leave him alone,” Doyoung snapped, smacking Jaehyun in the chest.

“‘Him?’ This is clearly a girl. Are you stupid?”

“Oh, _I’m_ the stupid one. _I’m_ not the one flirting with people when there's a _girlfriend_ in the picture. How's she doing, by the way?”

Jaehyun visibly bristled. “What she doesn't know won't hurt her.”

“Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?” Doyoung snapped.

…dear God, what kdrama was Jungwoo watching?

Apparently, Jaehyun took too long to answer, because Doyoung angrily shoved him into the refrigerator.

“Whatever. I'm going back to Yuta- _hyung_. At least he's _nice_ to me.”

 _Exeunt Doyoung_.

Leaving Jungwoo alone with a drunk Jaehyun. Great.

“Goddamn stupid fuckin’ tight ass. Accusing me of cheating. He's the one _actually cheating on someone_ …” Jaehyun grumbled to himself.

“What happened in Vegas?” Jungwoo found himself asking.

“I sucked his dick at a party once.”

Well. Um. That was. Unexpected.

“And he currently has a boyfriend?” Jungwoo asked, really not sure what else to say.

“Yup,” Jaehyun pouted. “Came in with some guy, parading him around, making _sure_ we knew he came here with somebody…”

“...but you have a girlfriend?”

A scoff. “Not really. I saw her for a bit, but eh. I considered it over the minute I saw her riding someone else’s dick.”

Jungwoo blinked again, still not quite believing that this conversation was happening. “And...you two can't just...break up?”

Jaehyun sighed dramatically. “She's too busy cheating on me to break up with me.”

Oh, for _God’s_ sake. “Why don't you just, I don't know, break up with her yourself? Why should you have to wait for her?”

Jaehyun stared, and it made Jungwoo a little uncomfortable, because Jaehyun was staring at him like he had just given him all the answers of the universe.

“...you know what? You're right. You're so fucking right, and I'm gonna go do it now.” He caught Jungwoo off guard by smacking a loud sloppy kiss onto Jungwoo’s mouth.

“Thanks for the advice, Cutie Pie!”

And with that, Jaehyun disappeared.

...what. Just. What?

And he didn't even say, “Sorry about the dress!”

What the actual _fuck_.

* * *

“I don’t understand how you’re this chirpy during your morning shifts but a complete disaster at our 8ams.”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “First of all, Minho, I actually _like_ working here. Second of all, I’m fine with _waking up_ at 8am. I just don’t like having to be somewhere that early.”

The little bell above the shop door jingled, and in walked Moon Taeil’s Canadian cousin Kevin, looking a little worse for wear.

“Hey! Another all-nighter?” Jungwoo asked as he began preparing Kevin’s usual.

“You know it,” Kevin sighed. “I swear to God, if I survive this project, I'll be the happiest man alive. I’ll even let you guys take me clubbing.”

Jungwoo froze in the middle of what he was doing. “That bad? _Really?_ ”

“Really really,” Kevin replied, as Minho groaned about how they really shouldn’t be quoting _Shrek_ at 8 o’something in the morning. “I am absolutely willing to break my ‘no drinking on a weekday’ policy just for this.”

To his credit, it was rather concerning, how Kevin knocked back a non-alcoholic drink like that. And even Minho said, “Dude, maybe you should take a nap or something.”

Kevin shook his head. “I can’t. I’ve got to edit this paper at least a _little_ bit before I email it in. That teacher is absolute _hell_.”

Minho frowned. “Who?” After all, the only person more patient with crappy professors was Vernon, and that was because Vernon usually took the class online. (There was a reason why Minho had once drunkenly admitted that he wanted to be a k-pop idol.)

“Professor Yang Hyunsuk.”

“Ugh, _that_ creep,” Minho groaned. “Even Julie avoids him, and that girl isn’t scared of _anything_.”

“Well, good luck to you,” Jungwoo said. “I’ll pray for you. And I’m not even religious.”

Suddenly, the little bell above the shop door rang again, and in came a lady and a teenager. Jungwoo couldn’t help but notice how panicked Minho suddenly was and how quickly he darted into the bathroom.

“Speaking of scared,” Kevin muttered, as he left to go sit at one of the booths, letting Jungwoo return to his job.

“Hello, Mrs. Han!” Jungwoo said. He was surprised to see that she had someone with her today, but Jungwoo didn’t comment on it. It was probably her son, judging by the fact that he was wearing earbuds and a hoodie.

“Jungwoo, dear, how are you?” Mrs. Han replied.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking. Just the usual this morning?”

“Yes, that would be perfect. Oh, and could I have a hot chocolate and another breakfast croissant? My son’s class got cancelled today, so I’m spending some time with him.”

Jungwoo glanced at the kid’s earbuds skeptically. “Oh? That’s…sweet.”

But an interesting thing happened, when this kid looked up from his phone. His face, which had so far been pretty expressionless, suddenly brightened into the most excited look Jungwoo had ever seen.

“Minho- _hyung_!” he called.

Minho, who had been trying to quietly slip by, immediately froze on his way to Kevin’s booth. “Oh! Um. Jisung. Hi.”

The kid _—_ Jisung, apparently _—_ turned to his mother. “ _Eomma_ , this is my Minho- _hyung_. _Hyung_ , this is my mom.”

Mrs. Han gave Minho a wide smile. “Well, hello, dear! It’s so nice to meet you. My Jisungie has told me a lot about you.”

And never in his life did Jungwoo think he would ever see _the_ Lee Minho with such _horror_ in his eyes, but here they were.

“Oh,” Minho choked out. “Has he now?”

“All good things, I promise,” Mrs. Han laughed. “He says you’re the greatest dancer the world has ever seen.”

“ _Eomma!_ ” Jisung squawked, sounding just as embarrassed as Minho looked.

“I don’t know about the _greatest_ …” Minho laughed nervously. “But I do like doing it.”

“Oh, nonsense, don’t be so modest!” Mrs. Han said. “He says you ought to audition someplace. Are you going to?”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Jisung said. “You know the company where I’m a trainee? The 3RACHA- _hyungs_ and I are having a showcase with other labelmates tonight! You could see what the company is like! Are you coming?”

“Of course, I’ll be there, Jisungie. You know me. Always being there. You know. Like a good _hyung_ …” Minho chuckled nervously. 

“What a sweet boy,” Mrs. Han cooed. She then turned back to the counter where Jungwoo had their orders prepared. “And thank you, Jungwoo dear. I hope you have a good day.” She picked up the food, gave Jisung his hot chocolate, and turned back to Minho. “And Minho- _yah_ , it was lovely meeting you. I’m glad that I can finally put a face to the name. We’ll see you at the showcase tonight?”

“Absolutely,” Minho said politely. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“Have a nice day, Mrs. Han!” Jungwoo smiled. And the minute that Han Jisung left with his mother, Jungwoo turned to Minho and slapped him upside the head.

Minho hissed. “What the hell was that for?!”

“ _Hyung_?” Jungwoo asked incredulously. “He asked if you were coming to his showcase, and you pull the ‘being a good _hyung_ card?! _Really?!_ ”

Minho blinked, then scowled. “He invites me to his concerts all the time—”

“You know what?” Jungwoo interrupted. “You’re going to salvage this. You're gonna go down the street, order some flowers, and give them to him after the show.”

Honestly, Minho should have been used to Jungwoo steamrolling plans onto his friends, but Minho still looked baffled. “Flowers?” he asked, wrinkling his nose a little.

“Yes, flowers, keep up, Minho,” Jungwoo huffed. “It's a gesture that can be interpreted as romantic if you’re looking for it, but it also be played off as platonic if anything goes wrong. Now go! No more excuses.”

And when Jungwoo finally got Minho to leave, Kevin caught Jungwoo’s eye over the top of his laptop.

“Why do you feel the need to matchmake all the time?” he asked.

Jungwoo shrugged. “I’m gonna blame it on the fact that Julie isn’t here. She’s like, 85% of my impulse control.”

“Can’t wait for her to come back from Spain, then,” Kevin muttered.

Jungwoo pretended he didn’t hear him.

* * *

Once upon a time, Jungwoo looked forward to learning English. Sure, he was an accounting major, but he had figured, in the realm of business, that speaking English would be a valuable skill.

And he had liked his tutor too! Krystal was helpful (if a bit savage), but he learned a lot with her and was comfortable with her.

(Or maybe, in being friends with Minho and Julie, he just got used to people being savage in an attempt to hide how shy and awkward they actually were.)

But of course, all good things must come to an end, so when Krystal graduated, the university assigned him a new tutor. Of course, Jungwoo was nervous about what this new tutor would be like…

_[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/182829586@N07/48344132317/in/dateposted-public/) _

But of course, because his life just _sucked_ sometimes, the university didn’t just assign Jungwoo _any_ old tutor…

“How was your day?”

Jungwoo wasn't really sure why Jaehyun always bothered with these pleasantries. They weren't here to chat.

(Well, technically they were. But it wasn’t like they were friends.)

“It was fine,” Jungwoo managed.

 _Not really. Having you as my tutor makes me feel all kinds of uncomfortable_ …

“That's good,” Jaehyun smiled. “How was that test you were worried about? Did that go well for you?”

“It was fine,” Jungwoo said again. “Look, can we just get straight to work? I’m meeting my friends after this, and it’s my turn to do the coffee run.”

Not exactly a lie, but Jaehyun didn’t need to know that Jungwoo _always_ did the coffee runs. Not when Jungwoo was intent on avoiding Jung Jaehyun whenever possible.

Jaehyun blinked. “Right. Yeah, sure…”

Why the hell was Jaehyun acting so awkward? He acted like this every time Jungwoo brushed off his niceties.

Whatever. No amount of pouting and sad puppy eyes would change the fact that Jung Jaehyun was a liar and a cheat. And most importantly, Jung Jaehyun was _not_ cute.

Nope. No siree bob, as Julie would say.

The rest of the tutoring session went much in the same fashion: with Jaehyun trying to make small talk, and Jungwoo cutting him off at every turn. Otherwise, it was largely uneventful, at least, until the end, when Jungwoo packed up his stuff and was about to leave.

Jaehyun always insisted on walking him to the door, and he also insisted on opening the door for Jungwoo. It was a gesture that really confused him. Johnny had mentioned it being an American gentleman thing, when Jungwoo had asked why Johnny did it for Taeyong. But why would Jaehyun…?

Whatever. The point was, Jaehyun opened the door, and because Jungwoo was apparently in a goddamn kdrama, Jungwoo tripped, and Jaehyun rushed forward to catch him.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, slowly pulling Jungwoo up by the waist.

Arms still around him, Jungwoo turned to stare up at Jaehyun.

“Am I interrupting something?” came a voice, and both Jaehyun and Jungwoo jumped. Because standing at the door was none other than Kim Doyoung.

_Why? Why was this his life?_

“Oh,” Doyoung said. “Hello, Jungwoo.” He didn’t sound particularly enthused.

“Hello, Doyoung,” Jaehyun said, just as flatly.

“I didn’t realize that you were with somebody.”

_Well, that was a double entendre if Jungwoo had ever heard one._

Jaehyun sighed, finally letting go of Jungwoo. “What do you want from me, Doyoung?”

“Well,” Doyoung sniffed. “I wanted to talk to you, actually. But since you’re busy…” And without saying anything else, Doyoung began walking away down the hallway.

“Doyoung, wait!” Jaehyun called after him, but to no avail. Jaehyun clenched his fist and cursed. “Dammit…”

Jungwoo was silent for a while, not really knowing what to say.

“Hey, Woo?” Jaehyun asked, sounding all kinds of defeated.

Jungwoo blinked at the nickname, but he figured that this probably wasn’t the best time to question it. “Yes?”

“Go home,” sighed Jaehyun. “I…I think that’s been enough for one day.”

“Oh,” Jungwoo said softly. “Okay.”

And when Jungwoo walked out, Jaehyun didn’t even wish him good night.

Well. That was weird.

* * *

“I just don’t get it!” Jungwoo whined, flopping his arms onto the table and burying his face in his arms. “Why do they keep showing up in my life?”

Vernon patted his back sympathetically with a tie-dyed sweater paw. “I don’t know, man,” he said. “But I’m sure it’s awkward.”

“Ugh, drama,” Minho rolled his eyes. “I thought we left this behind in high school.”

“I wish,” Jungwoo sighed, lifting his head to rest his head on his chin. “But clearly. _Clearly_. Something needs to be done here.”

Minho and Vernon exchanged a look. “Um, no offense, Jungwoo—”

“Speak for yourself, Vernon, I mean full offense—”

“—but why do you care? I mean, it’s not exactly any of your business.”

“Because!” Jungwoo snapped. “I can’t take it anymore! They both keep picking on me for some reason! Doyoung is a jerk to me in class, while Jaehyun’s _obsessed_ with me. But then they become so...so...constipated around each other. It’s driving me crazy!”

Kevin, who had been quiet all this time, looked at Jungwoo carefully. “...what did you have in mind?”

Jungwoo huffed. “I don’t know. But they clearly need to talk. I get the feeling that they’re not sure where they stand with the other one. But at the same time, like… I feel like things are gonna _explode_ if something happens…” Suddenly, the entire table jumped when Jungwoo slammed his palms on the table. “That’s it!”

Vernon blinked. “What’s it?”

“I’m gonna ask them both on a date.”

Silence. Then, Vernon tilted his head. “What do you mean by ‘both,’ exactly?”

“Just leave that to me…”

“...you know, I can’t help but feel like this is going to bite you in the ass somehow.”

“Aren’t you late for your boyfriend’s showcase?”

“... _shit_. I gotta go, guys. And also, shut up, _he’s not my boyfriend_!”

“Yet.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

Life was absolutely disgusting after that. Where Jungwoo used to enjoy his morning shifts at Angel Café, he now dreaded them. Because, no. Never mind the fact that the semester was over. Apparently, they liked Christmas cookies and peppermint mochas. So no, he did _not_ appreciate coupley orders for hot chocolate and giggling over cinnamon rolls at 8am.

> “It’s actually closer to 9am.”
> 
> “Mark, that’s not helping.”
> 
> “Sorry, _hyung_.”

So far, Jungwoo had managed to avoid serving them by rearranging the kitchen spices alphabetically, cleaning the staff bathroom, and answering all the catering phone calls. And so, Jungwoo was _ecstatic_ when he managed to get Yuta—who normally managed the nightshift—to cover his morning shift when it was finally time to pick up Julie from the airport. (It was sinfully easy to do so, too. All he had to do was remind him that Sicheng worked those shifts too.)

Jungwoo was eager to see his best friend again. Avoiding Doyoung and Jaehyun was just an added bonus. And besides, Johnny’s fatherly instincts and Taeyong’s motherhenning practically guaranteed that he’d get free food out of all this too.

“Is she here yet?”

“Calm down, Jungwoo,” Johnny soothed. “She’ll be here.”

“But it’s been _three months_ ,” Jungwoo whined. “I just want to see her…”

“As do we,” Taeyong replied. “But you know what? Why don’t you distract yourself and get Julie her favorite snacks? We’ll text you when she’s here.”

And so Jungwoo went. He grabbed various chocolates and—just to piss her off—some lemonade. (Apparently, when she was six, the school fed her cookies before the lemonade, consequently ruining lemonade for her forever.)

His purchase came with a free bracelet, the cute cashier winked at him, and everything was fine. At least, until the fire nation attacked.

“Oh, Jungwoo- _yah_!”

Jungwoo tensed, cursing his unbelievable luck. Like, at this point, he ought to buy lottery tickets, because this? This was ridiculous.

“Well, wouldn’t you know it? Our favorite person is here too!” Doyoung said, and Jungwoo almost wished he could go back to when Doyoung didn’t sound so fucking _happy to see him_ . It was _weird_.

“Um, hi,” Jungwoo said, pointedly _not_ looking at their intertwined fingers. “What are you two doing here?”

“Gongmyung- _hyung_ and Hyesung- _noona_ just got married. They’re coming back from their honeymoon.” Doyoung looked at Jungwoo. “You remember Gongmyung, don’t you?”

Kim Gongmyung. As in, the TA when Jungwoo had first met Julie. Jungwoo had been the one to pull her into the classroom through the window, and Gongmyung had _glared_ at them for breaking the rules like that for the rest of the day…

Yeah. It was pretty safe to say that Jungwoo remembered who Gongmyung was.

“As for me,” Jaehyun cut in. “Krystal and Jessica are coming back from their internships in the States. So my family is here today too.”

“It’s so nice to see our families getting along,” Doyoung said with a soft gummy smile. “Apparently they had all been waiting for Jae and I to get together. Can you believe that?”

 _Jae._ Doyoung had come up with a nickname for Jaehyun. It should have been a given, since Doyoung had been more or less rivals with Jaehyun since middle school. But of all the things to remind Jungwoo of their shared history…why was _that_ the one that bothered him most?

“Jungwoo!”

 _Johnny Suh, you fucking saint_. Jungwoo could feel himself deflating in relief.

“There you are!” Johnny chided, rolling a suitcase behind him. “You didn’t come back right away, and we got worried. Julie got out of immigration while you were gone.”

But Jungwoo didn’t hear half of what Johnny was saying, not when, behind him, there she was. She was wearing a backpack and a massive hoodie, holding her passport in her mouth, a duffle bag in one hand, and what looked like a stolen airplane blanket in the other. From the looks of it, Taeyong was trying to convince her to let him hold something, but none of that mattered right now. Jungwoo let all the snacks fall to the floor and rushed at his best friend. Julie squawked in protest and dropped all what was in her own hands when he grabbed her and hugged tightly her to his chest.

“Julie, baby, sweetie, the eternal sunshine of my life,” he cooed. “I missed you and your everloving support so much. I felt like I was wilting away without you. At least you’re back in time for Christmas—”

And because three months apart meant absolutely nothing to her, Julie shoved him off of her. “Ew. Just for that, I’m gonna turn around and go back to Spain.”

“ _Noooo_ ,” Jungwoo wailed. “Don’t leave me!”

“Will you shut up? People are staring!”

Taeyong picked up the fallen bag and blanket and walked over to his favorite place (next to Johnny). Johnny wordlessly put his arm around Taeyong, without even looking away from where Julie was squabbling with her best friend. And Jaehyun had looked at Johnny curiously.

“Are they always like this?” Jaehyun asked.

“They fight like a married couple,” Doyoung muttered.

Taeyong snorted. “I’m pretty sure they’ve made that joke too. I think they’ve agreed to marry each other if they’re both single at 25.”

“What they have is a solid thing,” Johnny said. “I’m quite sure that if this were a fanfiction, they’d definitely have a soulmate bond of some kind.”

There was a sudden indignant screech, and when they looked over at Julie again, she had been lifted up and was currently being spun around by a cackling Jungwoo.

“Maybe,” Doyoung whispered to Jaehyun, “we shouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun whispered back. “Maybe we shouldn’t have even considered it at all…”

* * *

Ever since she came back from Spain, Julie noticed that Doyoung and Jaehyun had been hanging around Angel Café in the days leading up to Christmas. She didn’t want to say anything, especially since Jungwoo seemed extra stressed out by their presence. And so, she took it upon herself to take Jungwoo Christmas shopping. Not that either of them actually needed to buy anything. But he appreciated the distraction, at least for a while.

“I fucking can’t with this,” Jungwoo half-sobbed all of a sudden, flopping himself on top of their table at the mall's food court.

Julie blinked once. Twice. Then, carefully setting down her lunch, she picked up her napkin and wiped off her mouth. “Alright. Come on, now. What happened this time?”

“ _This_ ,” Jungwoo said, shoving Instagram in her face, his phone pulled up to Doyoung and Jaehyun’s latest couple selfie, in which they were kissing under some mistletoe. “ _Them_. I just _can’t_.”

Julie gently pushed the phone away. “Jung- _ssi_ ,” she said carefully. “It can’t be helped.”

“You don’t _get it_ , Julie- _yah_. They come, every single day, argue over who’s gonna pay, every single day, and then they sit in the corner and feed each other pastries while holding hands under the table. _Every. Single. Day._ ”

“Jung- _ssi_ —”

“And they always keep glancing over at the counter! It’s like they’re checking to make _sure_ I’m watching!”

“Jung- _ssi_ ,” she said again. “Even though Doyoung- _ssi_ is no longer your TA, and even though you switched to a different English tutor, you’re all in the college of business.”

“We all have different majors, though! I’m in accounting, Doyoung is in management, and Jaehyun’s in international business!”

“Still. You’ve still got classes to take for your major, so you’re going to have to talk to them at some point. You can’t just avoid them forever.”

And Jungwoo knew that. Realistically, he knew that. He was an adult, after all. Really. He was. Which was why he went to Kun, the day shift manager, and begged to be switched over to Yuta’s night shift. Yuta needed help training some high schoolers, and Jungwoo had jumped that the excuse. And for a while, it was fine. Park Jisung was adorable, and Jungwoo’s energy matched Jaemin’s very well. Jungwoo could almost _forget_ that Doyoung and Jaehyun were a thing, since he was no longer seeing them everyday.

But of course, he was suddenly reminded of their existence when Mark informed him that two guys had come looking for him during his usual dayshift.

“And what did you tell them?” Jungwoo asked, _absolutely not panicking at all._

“Oh, I told them that you were helping out with our nightstaff. Why? Do you know them?”

Jungwoo wanted to be mad. Really, he did. But one did not simply get mad at Mark Lee and his adorable baby lion face. So Jungwoo took a deep breath, plastered on a smile, and thanked Mark for letting him know. 

At least this meant he was prepared, when he saw the dreaded couple through the shop window. He picked up his water bottle, made sure Jaemin and Jisung didn’t have any questions, and left to join Yuta in the backroom. He wasn't worried: the kids were quick learners, and if they had any more questions, Mark was out at one of the café tables doing his homework. And so Jungwoo made himself busy: cleaning the countertops, taking out the trash, refilling the water dispenser in the staff break room. It was nice, being able to sink yourself into mindless, menial labor. It meant you didn’t actually have to process anything.

“You okay, Jungwoo?” Yuta asked.

Jungwoo blinked, looking up from where he was aggressively scrubbing a cake pan. “Yeah, _hyung_. Why do you ask?”

“Well, to be honest with you, everyone’s worried about you. You’re a lot quieter, and you haven’t been singing along to any of the Christmas songs that play out in the Café. Hell, Jaemin and Jisung haven’t been working here for very long, and even they asked if you’re usually this sad. Now, we all know you’re not, so… What’s going on?”

Jungwoo sighed. “Well…honestly, it’s Doyoung and Jaehyun.” And he explained everything: the weird tension, being picked on (albeit in different ways) for no reason, and then setting them up on that blind date.

“How did you ask them?”

Jungwoo blinked at the question. “Um. Well, I used different words for the both of them, but I did basically the same thing for them both: I bought them both coffee, and I asked them both if they wanted dinner. I basically said that there was a reservation at this restaurant at 7pm under the last name ‘Kim.’ And they both thought they were meeting me, so they came.”

“Interesting,” Yuta muttered. But before Jungwoo could ask why he said that, Yuta's phone rang. "Hey Johnny, what's up?" Yuta paused, then frowned a little. "Jungwoo? He's with me right here. Why?"

And Johnny must have asked Yuta to put him on speakerphone, because the next thing Jungwoo knew, he was hearing four words capable of stopping his heart.

Suddenly, he wasn't listening. He couldn't, not with his pulse racing through his ears. He burst through the employee door and was desperately trying to rip off his apron.

“Mark!” he yelled, pulling the apron up to his head. “Take my shift!

"Jungwoo- _hyung_?" he heard Jisung ask nervously. Or was it Jaemin?

"Jungwoo"—that was Yuta—“where are you go—?"

"Where do you think?!" he screeched back, finding himself tangled up in his apron. It was over his face. He couldn't see—

"Jungwoo," a new voice said, gently grabbing his wrists. "Take a deep breath. Slowly. Count with me… There you go." And somehow, through the haze of his panic, Jungwoo did relax, letting the stranger gently untangle him from his apron.

Imagine his surprise when, on the other side of the apron, was none other than a concerned Kim Doyoung. And vaguely, Jungwoo realized that the only reason he hadn't recognized Doyoung's voice was because he had only ever heard it be demanding or critical.

"Doyoung- _ssi_ —"

Doyoung sighed. “The semester is over. You call me ‘ _hyung_.’ Now, what’s going on?”

Jungwoo gulped, vaguely noting that Doyoung was still lightly gripping his wrists, as if afraid he’d run away. “It’s Julie… She…” He took in a shaky breath. “She’s in the hospital.”

“Little Julie?” someone else gasped. “Is she alright?” Jungwoo turned to the voice and blinked. Right. If Doyoung was here, Jaehyun would be too.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Yuta said. “It would be useless to try and visit her now. They’re not sure what her condition is right now, but I don’t think they’re gonna tell anyone except for her immediate family.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Taeyong and Ten are coming back to the café as we speak. Apparently, Taeyong’s gonna try and notify the study abroad so they can get in contact with Julie’s parents in the States.”

“Shit, that’s right,” Mark piped up. “Johnny’s family is hosting her, so they’re probably acting as her immediate family at the hospital right now.”

Jungwoo scowled, suddenly frustrated. “This sucks.” He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m seriously going to have to wait until the people at the hospital decide it’s okay for us to talk to her?”

To Jungwoo’s surprise, he was pulled from Doyoung’s grip and into a hug. By the smell of the expensive cologne, it was Jaehyun, and it was also surprising how warm and strong his arms were. But perhaps the most surprising thing of all was the fact that Jaehyun was actually taller than Jungwoo. And since Jungwoo was pretty tall himself, being the shorter one was a strange feeling for him.

“Maybe you should go home,” Jaehyun said gently. “It’s getting pretty late anyway. You could sleep on it and see if there are updates tomorrow.”

Jungwoo wanted to fight him. Kick something. Maybe scream a little. But Jaehyun was right. He _was_ tired. And so, with a tiny nod, he let himself be put into a car and driven home.

The rest of the evening would be a blur for Jungwoo, what with him being preoccupied with the condition of his best friend. But if he were to look back later, he would have found himself being babied by Doyoung and Jaehyun.

Jungwoo probably should have been embarrassed by the idea of bringing home two boys at once. Instead, Jungwoo picked up a throw pillow on the couch, curled himself around it, and let himself zone out. He must have fallen asleep, because when he woke up, there was a blanket draped across him and a nearby Doyoung talking—albeit quietly—to someone on the phone.

“—for three?” he was saying. “Yes, the dinner reservation was under Kim.” A pause as he listened. “Ah, okay. Thank you so much! Again, I apologize for any inconvenience our cancellation may cause you… Thanks again! Goodnight.” Doyoung hung up the phone, and glanced at Jungwoo. "Oh, you're awake."

From what sounded like the kitchen, Jaehyun called out to Jungwoo. “Hey Woo? Have you had dinner?”

As if on cue, Jungwoo’s stomach growled. “Um. No. Actually. I…forgot.” He sighed, sinking back into the couch. “Honestly, I was just going to make myself a cup of ramyeon. I don’t really keep ingredients in my place because I can’t really cook, and Taeyong and Johnny aren’t having family dinner tonight, so I just…” Jungwoo decided to stop talking right then, because the more he continued, the more horrified Doyoung looked.

Jaehyun, in contrast, smiled kindly. “That’s alright. I can go grab us something to eat instead. Do you have a favorite?”

Jungwoo blinked. “Well, there’s a really good Chinese place down the street—”

“Oh, I know, I love that place!” Jaehyun grinned, and—geez, did he always have dimples? “I mean, we don’t go there often, but they still know our orders. It’s honestly really impressive! And if you love that place too, they probably know your order too. So I can just go down now and grab us—” Jaehyun stopped at the look on Jungwoo’s face. “Are you okay?"

Right. Jaehyun and Doyoung were a couple. Of course they did stuff together. They were even going to do something tonight. And Jungwoo ruined all of that. Great.

“I’m sorry I made you cancel your dinner date…”

Doyoung and Jaehyun exchanged a look, silently agreeing on something before turning back to Jungwoo. Doyoung, who was sitting on the couch next to him, scooted closer and gently pulled his hands away from his face.

“Don’t worry about us right now,” he said softly. “Let’s instead make sure you’re okay first. We don’t want you to be alone when you’re this upset.”

And so that was that. Jaehyun came back with Chinese takeout, and maybe it was because he was that tired, but suddenly, he was lending clothes and toothbrushes to the two of them. Then they all clambered onto the couch, pulled up _Sailor Moon Crystal_ , and the last thing Jungwoo remembered was falling asleep on Doyoung’s shoulder as Jaehyun cuddled him on the couch.

The next morning, Jungwoo woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and Doyoung setting the table. They ate breakfast together, and at some point, this whole thing should have struck Jungwoo as weird.

It never did.

* * *

It came, suddenly. A question that he’d heard a million times and answered a million more. But somehow…somehow, this time felt different.

“What is Julie to you?”

Startled by the question, Jungwoo could only laugh a little. “She’s not my girlfriend, if that’s what you’re asking. She’s my best friend.”

“If that’s the case then…” Jaehyun glanced at Doyoung, who nodded. “Jungwoo, you wanna come get coffee with us?”

“Oh, no thanks,” Jungwoo said. “You guys can go ahead without me though. But thank you for offering. And thank you for bringing me to the hospital too. I really appreciate it.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun stared, apparently stunned by the answer. But before either of them could argue on it, Jungwoo heard his name being called. Jungwoo turned.

“Vernon?” he asked, a little disbelieving, but hugging his friend anyway. “What are you _doing_ here? Aren’t you worried about Dispatch or something?”

“Nah,” Vernon waved him off. “It helps that I’m not here alone.”

“Jungwoo!” another voice called, and Jungwoo grinned at the newcomer.

“Hey, Kevin. How are you?"

“I’m here too, you know,” Minho grumbled.

Jungwoo didn’t notice Doyoung and Jaehyun watching him as he herded his friends into Julie’s room.

Now, keep in mind. Jungwoo had no idea what kind of condition Julie was in. All he knew was that the doctors, after monitored her condition over the course of last night, had cleared her for having visitors. And because _being in the fucking hospital_ didn’t change her at all, she had answered the last text in the group chat ( _idk man, i can’t decide btw kamijirou and shinkami_ ) with _lol sorry i was in the hospital_ , immediately followed by _also, shinkamijirou. duh._

So obviously, Julie was okay, and if they were letting her use her phone, then she probably didn’t have a concussion. But still. Seeing her, with the bandage across her face and with monitors beeping around her, Jungwoo suddenly choked up.

“Julie!” He rushed at her and hugged her as tightly as her wounds would allow. And because he apparently hadn’t cried enough in the past 24 hours, he began sobbing into her shirt. Julie, for her part, awkwardly patted Jungwoo on the back.

“Jungie,” she said. “Will you calm down? I’m not dyin—”

Jungwoo just sobbed louder.

Julie huffed. “What is it now?”

“You _never_ call me Jungie,” he shrieked. “And now you’ve dropped the polite habit… Does this mean we’re finally friends?!”

Julie just sighed, and Jungwoo could feel her shift to look at their friends. “Don’t you dare look guilty. Any of you.”

“But Julie—” Minho tried.

“No,” she cut him off. “I’m not pissed at you guys because I had to spend Christmas in the hospital. I’m pissed because you guys managed to _trick me into watching the BTS Christmas concert_.”

Minho snorted. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Actually, now that I think about it,” Kevin said. “What even happened?”

“Well,” Vernon said. “Remember when Minho’s boyfriend—”

“He’s not my boyfriend—”

“—convinced him to audition? Long story short, they let him be one of the backup dancers for BTS. And since we all know that Julie is forever in denial concerning her everlasting love for Jeon Jungkook—”

Julie growled. “ _Vernon, shut the fuck up_ —”

“—I had to convince her that one of the places where I performed as an idol needed help with their sound checks and their stage tech. Minho and I had to pull a few strings, but between the two of us, we managed to get her into the concert. And _boy_ , was she mad.”

“Well, you _lied_ to me,” Julie argued. “Of course I was upset. Also, you bought me a lightstick, and _you won’t let me pay you back_.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, Jules. Anyway, we let her compromise,” Vernon continued. “She promised not to run from the concert—and not to punch me—if we promised that we wouldn’t try to get her anywhere near the BTS members.”

“And it was fun,” Julie said quietly. “I still hate you both, but it was fun.”

By now, Jungwoo had lifted his face off of Julie’s shirt. “Okay, but that still doesn’t explain how Julie wound up with stitches in her face and a bunch of bruised ribs.”

“That was actually the funny part,” Minho said. “At least, if you take out the blood and hospital part. But you know how there’s a barricade between the fans and the idols? Well, some _sasaeng_ had broken through and started rushing towards the BTS members.”

“I don’t even know what happened,” Vernon admitted. “One minute, she was next to me and trying to pull us away from the crowd so we could find Minho. The next, her purse and her lightstick were shoved in my hands, and she had vaulted over the barricade to run after the girl.”

“That girl made it pretty far,” Minho added. “Almost grabbed Jin’s hoodie, actually. But Julie caught her just in time, and after that, she didn’t stand a chance. One tackle, and she was down. She fell on her camera, though.”

“Yeah, and since they were worried about glass, they kept me in the hospital to do a few x-rays,” Julie said. “She also scratched and hit the hell out of me. She was not happy about me stopping her, and she fought me like crazy.”

“Anyway,” Vernon said, “security came, and that was that. The managers came out and demanded that no one post any footage of the struggle. And when the medics arrived, they took her away, and well… We haven’t seen her until now.”

Jungwoo stared at his best friend. He wanted to shake her, because goddamn, they’d been worried, but Julie just gave a shameless grin back.

“Merry Christmas to me,” was all she said.

* * *

The next few days, Jungwoo made sure to stay with Julie, making sure she didn’t strain herself, because God knows that if you gave her half the chance, she would have climbed a tree to get them back into the house when they got locked out yesterday.

Today, thankfully, he had managed to keep her in Johnny and Taeyong’s living room by starting an argument over the superior rarepair from _My Hero Academia_ , waiting for Johnny and Taeyong to come back to the upstairs apartment with lunch from the Café.

“I mean, it’s a hetero ship,” Julie was saying, “so it’s automatically rare, but what about IidaMomo? The two class reps from well-to-do families. It’s perfect.”

“Sure, but also consider: InaTodo’s size difference. There’s also the added bonus that Shouto’s boyfriend would hate Endeavor just as much as he does.”

“Absolutely valid. Especially since Endeavor would hate Inasa right back.” Julie took a sip from the milk tea Johnny had made her earlier. (Jungwoo still found it weird that she didn’t like tapioca pearls.) “But I still can’t believe you thought BakuDeku was a rarepair."

“Hey, if you look at all the crack vids on YouTube, it feels like everyone only ships KiriBaku and TodoDeku."

“I know, right?” she sighed. “I mean, I have nothing against TodoDeku or KiriBaku, but since all the development in those friendships happens offscreen, it just doesn’t feel as believable to me.”

“Besides,” Jungwoo said. "BakuDeku are childhood rivals that can't seem to let go of each other. And somehow…" Jungwoo sighed. "I don't think either of them have room in their hearts for anyone else…"

Julie frowned. “Hey, what’s on your mind this time?”

"Nothing, just…" Jungwoo changed the subject. He picked her empty glass up to go put in the kitchen sink and decided that while he was in the kitchen, he could grab her a snack from the pantry.

“Jaehyun asked me if we were dating last week,” Jungwoo said, knowing that she could hear him from the living room. “I told him no, we weren't, and then they asked if I wanted coffee. I said no, they could go on ahead," Jungwoo replied, knowing that Julie could hear him from the kitchen. “I was about to visit with you at the hospital, so I didn’t want to get sidetracked.”

In the midst of contemplating whether to bring her a packet of cookies or a pudding cup, he realized that Julie hadn’t answered him.

“Jungwoo?” Julie said suddenly. “Could you come here please?” And really, as he left the kitchen and sat back down next to Julie, he should have seen it coming. Because Jungwoo enjoyed dancing around emotions and playing games with hearts like the confident gay he (usually) was. But Julie? She had zero patience for that bullshit, so he really shouldn’t have been surprised when his best friend gently cupped cheek in her hand, only to slap him soundly across the face a second later.

“Ow!” he exclaimed, because yeah, he should have seen it coming, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Oh, shut up,” Julie snapped. “If you hadn’t been such a goddamn coward, Jaehyun and Doyoung wouldn’t have been sulking at the door?”

“What does that have to do with not getting coffee with them?”

Julie stared. “Oh my God,” she said, burying her face in her hands. “You’re stupid. You’re so goddamn stupid, I can’t.” She sighed, but then she shook her head. “But you know what? I got out of the hospital this week. You want dinner?”

“Sure,” Jungwoo said, surprised at the offer. Julie wasn’t usually the type to make plans. But then again, she was out of the hospital. Why wouldn’t they celebrate?

“Cool.” And really, when Julie told him when and where the dinner was, he should have seen it coming.

But then Taeyong and Johnny came in with their lunch, and Jungwoo forgot to question it.

* * *

Well, there he was, at the restaurant where he had set up Doyoung and Jaehyun. He had shown up ten minutes early, so instead of going straight to the table, he walked up the bar and stared at the menu instead.

“Drinking already?”

Jungwoo whirled around to stare at Doyoung. “What are you doing here?”

Doyoung didn’t answer, instead smiling gently and guiding Jungwoo to a booth towards the back of the restaurant. In an attempt to not focus on the hand currently on the small of his back, Jungwoo glanced at Doyoung’s face. God, did he always have those bunny teeth with that gummy smile?

Because he wasn’t paying attention, Jungwoo didn’t notice who was across from him reading a menu until he had slid into the booth.

“Oh, you found him!” Jaehyun said, looking up from the menu as Doyoung settled into the booth next to him.

Jungwoo, however, was not nearly as enthused. “What the hell is going on? I’m supposed to meet Julie here in like, ten minutes—”

“Ah, well,” Jaehyun looked sheepish. “We actually…well—”

“She lied to you, Jungwoo,” Doyoung said bluntly. “And before you get mad at her, we asked her to do it.”

“Bullshit,” Jungwoo replied. “She would never do something because someone asked her to. She probably thought it’d be hilarious if I was stuck having dinner with you two. Damn her…”

Doyoung and Jaehyun exchanged a look. “Jungwoo,” Doyoung sounded rather serious. “You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

And it was tempting: the prospect of walking out and going home and yelling at his best friend. But Jungwoo was also petty as shit, and he knew that if he quit now, Julie would never shut up about it until she was married with Jeon Jungkook’s children. So instead, he squared his shoulders and braced himself.

“Actually, I’m going to stay here. I’m no quitter.”

Something sparked in Jaehyun’s eyes, and Doyoung groaned softly.

“Oh no,” he whispered. “There’s two of you now…”

This should have been weird. Really. He should have felt awkward. But both Doyoung and Jaehyun kept him involved with the conversation. Jungwoo could almost forget that he was third-wheeling, and by the time the waitress came around with the dessert menu, Jungwoo was laughing comfortably at one of Jaehyun’s jokes.

Doyoung sighed deeply. “Why am I dating you…?” he asked rhetorically.

And it was like a bucket of ice water shocking him back into reality. Because Jungwoo had forgotten. Doyoung and Jaehyun were boyfriends, and Jungwoo was just some guy they had invited along for some reason.

“Jungwoo?”

Looking up from staring blankly at the dessert menu, Jungwoo was startled by the concerned look on both Doyoung and Jaehyun’s faces. Quickly plastering on a smile, Jungwoo shook his head. “Sorry. I’m fine. I’m just…” He gestured awkwardly towards the menu. “I’m trying to figure out what I can handle by myself. I’m guessing you two will be sharing a dessert?”

Jaehyun and Doyoung stared, and Jungwoo felt his stomach sink further.

“I’m sorry!” he suddenly burst. “You guys are just trying to have a good time, and I keep making everything awkward, and I just—”

Doyoung cut him off by gently grasping his hand. “Actually, Jungwoo, we wanted to talk to you about us.”

At the completely bewildered look on Jungwoo’s face, Jaehyun jumped into explain. “First of all, we wanted to thank you. If you hadn’t set us up on that blind date, we never would have talked to each other and finally faced our problems.”

Oh. Was that what this was for? “Um. No problem? But you didn’t have to take me out to dinner—”

“Actually, yes we did,” Doyoung interrupted. “Because we also wanted to ask you something.” Doyoung took a shaky breath, and Jaehyun’s hand reached up to where Doyoung’s hand was still grasping Jungwoo’s. Jungwoo felt Jaehyun squeeze Doyoung’s hand for comfort, and it apparently gave Doyoung the strength.

“We actually wanted to ask you… Would you be interested in dating us?”

Jungwoo’s heart stopped. “Excuse me?”

Jaehyun winced. “I mean, you don’t have to—”

“What the _fuck_ do you mean by _us_?” Jungwoo hissed.

“It _means_ ,” Doyoung replied, “the both of us. At once. You would be our boyfriend, and we would be your boyfriends too.”

“But…” Jungwoo protested weakly, “you don’t even _like_ me…” 

“Oh?” Doyoung chuckled softly. “Actually Jungwoo. I kept picking on you in class because I liked you _too_ much.”

A fond smirk crossed Jaehyun’s face. “If you haven’t noticed, Jungwoo, he has a habit of convincing his crushes that he hates them.”

Doyoung turned a little pink. “Excuse you, Jung Jaehyun, but you were the one that kept asking him questions you learned from movie meet-cutes!”

“I think my method made a little more sense—”

“Whatever! The point is”—Doyoung turned back to Jungwoo—“we both think you’re cute and smart and funny, and we really want to date you. So what do you say?”

Jungwoo…didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t a no… But it felt like too much had changed too fast. What if he changed his mind later? 

“You don’t have to decide now,” Jaehyun said quietly. “If you want, we can just take it one date at a time and see where it goes.” 

One date at a time. Jungwoo nodded slowly. “Okay. I can handle that.”

And before he knew it, one date turned into two. Then four. Then eight. By the time it got past thirteen, Jungwoo decided it didn’t matter anymore and stopped counting.

* * *

“Jungwoo,” Julie said, her voice shaking with incredulity. “You literally. Already have. Two boyfriends. _Two_. And you want another one…?”

“Well…” Jungwoo replied. “That would sound like I just want any old guy to be the third boyfriend. But no. I don't want just _anybody_ . I want _Moon Taeil_.”

Jungwoo watched as Julie’s facial muscles twitched, the way they did when she was trying really, _really_ hard to keep her judgements to herself. And _that_ was why Jungwoo was more than happy to have Julie as his best friend. She wasn't perfectly understanding of everything he did. For one thing, she was a monogamous asexual, and she confessed to being too jealous for a polyamorous relationship like his. But at least she tried, and that was all he asked of her.

“…and the other two are just. Going to agree with this?” she asked doubtfully.

Jungwoo smirked, and he could see the flash of fear in Julie’s eyes.

“Watch this.”

_Enter Doyoung and Jaehyun, from opposite ends of the university cafeteria._

“Hello, darling,” Doyoung said, kissing Jungwoo on the cheek. Doyoung placed two more plates of pasta on the lunch table.

“Hey babe,” Jaehyun said, placing a coffee cup in front of Jungwoo. He handed another coffee cup to Doyoung, who thanked him with a kiss on the cheek of his own.

“Oh thank you,” Jungwoo said. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” Jaehyun replied as he and Doyoung sat down at the lunch table. “But I wanted to. Doyoung said you stayed up again.”

“So did I,” Julie grumbled, stabbing her pasta with her fork. “But who cares about me…?”

“That’s sweet of you,” Jungwoo said. “Although I hope you give the same lecture to Doyoung. He stayed up too.”

“I know,” Jaehyun sighed. “I really do worry about the two of you.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes a little, but he did sigh. “I’m sorry. I swear I’ll spend more time with you both when I finish that project with Taeil- _hyung_ …”

“You just met with him, right?” Jungwoo asked, enjoying the predicted redness in Doyoung’s ears.

“Ooh, so how did that go?” Jaehyun said, a mischievous smirk on his face.

“It was fine,” Doyoung said shortly, though it seemed to be more out of embarrassment rather than anger. “He was fine. Helpful as always. Although, he did say the strangest thing to me today…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He said that ‘must be nice’ that I have ‘two lovely boyfriends’ to keep me company this weekend.”

Jungwoo tilted his head, putting more pasta in his mouth. “Interesting…”

“I’ll say,” Jaehyun agreed.

“You know what this means, though? It means we’ve made some progress.”

“Which means it’s time to take it to the next level…” Jungwoo waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Julie gave the ceiling a pleading look. “Hey God, can I come home now?”

“Be a gentleman, Woo- _yah_ ,” Doyoung smacked his arm. “We needed to start simple. We’ll start with inviting him to Saturday Sushi.”

“That _is_ a big move,” Julie muttered into her soft drink. “Not even _I_ get invited to Saturday Sushi.”

“Will he know how big of a deal that is?” Jaehyun wondered.

“I don’t think he has to,” Jungwoo replied. “If he doesn’t know, we can play it off as a friendly gesture. And if the conversation turns towards making it something more, well…”

“It’s perfect," Jaehyun grinned. "Just like you."

“It’s true,” Doyoung agreed. “Our perfect genius…”

Nobody noticed that Julie had gotten up and left early for class.

**Author's Note:**

> this. was way too fucking long. the amount of shit in this fic that wasn't even necessary is actually appalling.
> 
> i hope to god the yuwin installment i'm writing for this series will be easier to write.
> 
> (watch me make it eleventy billion words long again)
> 
> /////////
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Send them to my [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/princessgongju1)!  
> A link to my ko-fi page can also be found in my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/princessgongju1) bio!  
> Thanks so much for reading, and I'll see you in the next one!


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